Georgia on my mind

To paraphrase Georgia, sorry George Orwell "All women are equal but some women are more equal than others". Having excluded male applicants for the position of prospective parliamentary candidate for Erith and Thamesmead by means of an all-female shortlist New Labour then proceeded to attempt the elimination of the eligible wimmin candidates by parachuting in Georgia Gould, daughter of Lord Gould and millionaire publisher Gail Rebuck. It was evident from her slick, professional, no expense spared campaign prior to the cancellation of the whole election process due to revelations of Mugabe-style ballot-box tampering by persons unknown that more strings were being pulled on her behalf from on high than at a puppeteers' convention.

Georgia is just out of St Catherine's College, Oxford, alma mater to another noted champagne socialist Lord Mandelson. Her achievements there included persuading the Junior Common Room bar to serve vegetarian wine lest the lips of any veggie be irrevocably defiled by the imbibement of traces of fishes' swim bladders lurking treacherously within the normal version of the beverage. This is an issue which would no doubt be very close to the heart of the average voter on the Erith and Thamesmead omnibus.

Georgia is 22 and has never had a real job (although this tends to be the norm for MPs these days and is therefore no disqualification from office). My lawyer tells me she is obviously gifted, very kind to animals and destined for great things but as Andrew Gilligan has perceptively written in yesterday's Evening Standard it is exactly this type of nepotistic gerrymandering by a privileged elite within New Labour that has alienated the Party from its grass roots support. Many of these once staunch but now disaffected suburban Labour voters backed Boris Johnson in last year's mayoral elections.

BOB has one piece of advice for Georgia. If you stop for fish and chips in Erith don't order the guacamole!